Am I cringe?
I’ve been thinking about why I write sometimes and not other times. There are a few reasons for my haphazard style:
I was drinking and it was killing my creativity.
I am parenting 24/7 with less help than I need to feel “creative.”
I worry about what people think and why I even bother.
Now, that I’m not drinking and I have a little more help around the house, I have no excuse other than worrying about other people. What if they *gasps* think I’m cringe? Honestly? You probably do. If you don’t feel the pull to write your emotions and thoughts and share them with the world, then this type of thing probably feels weird to you. Is it self-absorbed? Maybe. Although, the only people I force to read this are my sisters, my step-mom and a close group of friends. The rest of you simply stumbled here from Instagram or very elaborate stalking. But is it actually cringe-y? I’m not really sure. I am not disillusioned by the fact that my short essays probably won’t go viral. I may never write for a major publication or land a book deal. I probably won’t even successfully start a blog/influencer account. That’s ok. I write for me. Maybe something I have to say will resonate with you. Deeply. Or, just make you laugh. If I do either of those things I will be thrilled.
So, if you were sitting on the other side wondering if I know how weird I sound…I sure do. I just don’t care. What would you do if you didn’t care what people would think? Shave your head? Divorce your husband? Quit your job and start basket-weaving? Go do it. The time is now. Cringe inducing or not.
